Unconditional Love ≠ Unconditional Boundaries

Unconditional Love ≠ Unconditional Boundaries

It has been an interesting year of lessons in love and boundaries for me. As many of you know, I am having my heart surgery this coming Friday the 20^th of December, tonight as I write we have a full moon in Gemini and the messages keep coming. As this very educational year comes to a close, I am aware of one large theme around love and boundaries that I want to share.

I think I was confused, and I am certain I am not alone. Unconditional love is not love without boundaries. We can love unconditionally with clear boundaries in place.

Much of the conditioning we receive makes us “other” one another. If you are not like me then you are wrong/bad. I believe that each of us is experiencing this exact life by soul design. So, I work to step out of judgement of others (we’re human, we all do it) because they are different from how I like to view myself (important- it is our ego that creates identity) and I try to understand what experiences in their lives may have brought them to view x,y,z through that different lens. I believe that all the world’s problems could be solved if we worked to relate to one another rather than focus on our differences and what we do not like about what someone else says, does, wears etc. The more we try to have compassion for one another, the less divisive we will be as a collective. This is not to say that we condone acts, it simply means that we take the negative charge out of it and create the opportunity for mutual education. As the Buddhists say, we try to find the “middle path”.

This work has shifted something in me. As I understand that everyone is here on their own path. Experiencing great abundance or heart break and everything in between, I do believe that this is their soul’s desire in this lifetime. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, but it allows me to have compassion for and love those that I will say “behave badly”.

That said, while I can say with my whole heart, that I offer unconditional love, I have learned that my boundaries must be conditional for my own soul’s journey. I too get this one life. I believe that we are cocreators of our experiences here in this lifetime and perhaps many of the lessons our soul’s chose this exact life for, is for the practice of setting boundaries. Deciding how much of our precious life force energy we will dedicate to obligation, “blood that binds”, expectation, simply tolerating, not wanting to look like the bad guy, wanting to set an example, etc.

We receive so much conditioning about forever. From family of origin to marriage, friendships and jobs. Perhaps we are only meant to have these relationships for a season or a stage of life?

As humans, we are in constant evolution. As seekers, the evolution can happen in leaps and bounds. This simply means that our relationships will likely shift. Our ideas of how we want to live out this one life experience might change. We do not need to let our ego make the other wrong/bad, we can understand that our paths have diverged and that they are learning their soul’s lessons as we learn ours. It does not mean that it needs to be heated or contentious, we can simply with true unconditional love set a boundary that protects our energy and allows for the continuation of your soul journey.

With the full moon energy still present and as this year comes to a close, perhaps you take inventory of where you too might have confused unconditional love with unconditional boundaries. It is the greatest act of soul love to set a boundary that creates more opportunity for growth in this lifetime.

Much love always,

xx Karly